Reflections – Page 18

Where Egos I Go

We all have egos – ‘sense of self-esteem or self-importance’ – and a healthy ego is vital for our wellbeing.

Recently I ran our Pozitive Kidz are happy kidz workshops for grade five and six students at a primary school. The workshops focused on building self esteem from a Tai Chi perspective.

After the workshops the wellbeing teacher emailed me the following student feedback and gave me permission to use it.

“We have had 3 sessions with Chris Bennett. He taught us relaxation techniques to help calm us down. He came to teach us how to have fun through relaxation”. Callum

“Tai Chi has involved movement like belly breathing and the meaning of Yin & Yan. Yin means calm, Yan means active. It is used to calm us down like meditation”. Kellie

“Chris is a wonderful Tai Chi expert. He has taught us many things such as preventing ‘monkey brain'”. Jon

‘Each time Chris teaches us more about the history of Tai Chi and its different uses. He is a funny and joyful guy who is very entertaining and makes sure we all have fun’. Sam

“Tai Chi is fun and calming. It is calming because when we meditate, it is relaxing”. Josh

It certainly boosted my ego, as it’s not often I get feedback from students after a workshop. Usually teachers are too busy to do so or they have a policy that prohibits publicly giving student feedback.

Usually I can assess, during the workshop, if the students are enjoying themselves. Most of the time they do.

This student feedback caused me to reflect that, like children, adults need positive feedback to build and maintain a healthy ego.

One way of doing this is by using the Toastmasters’ method of commend and recommend.

Commendations should be earned and we should always look for opportunities to give them.

Recommendations should be couched in positive language and given only where it is important. Too many recommendations can be overwhelming to children and adults.

What I do in the Positive Kidz workshops is always look for opportunities to commend good behaviour. You should see the reaction from the children. Very positive!

When I need to recommend the desired behaviour I do it with a smile without criticising the poor behaviour.

This takes a lot of patience but it is vital to help build healthy egos because I know ‘where egos I go’.

How Embarrassing

By Chris Leave a Comment

The hall was narrow and all eyes were watching my every move. I jumped across the floor and lunged with my sabre, raised it and then it happened.

As I rotated the sabre around my head the metal guard clipped my forehead and a trickle of blood appeared.

The audience was stunned.

I was embarrassed.

I’ve practiced the sabre form many times over the years and given many demonstrations and this was the first time I drew blood (my own). It was only a minor cut and when I finished the audience applauded loudly. Probably more loudly than usual because of the dramatic effect.

The great thing about demonstrations is that you have only one chance to get it right. And I enjoy that pressure because it does make you focus on your form internally rather than the audience or environment. If you are distracted by what is going on around you, nerves and/or poor form occur.

I don’t know why I mistimed my move but errors do occur and when they do it is important, where possible, to continue and finish your demonstration as if nothing happened.

The sabre is my favourite weapon form and I use it occassionally in our conference energizer presentations or our speeches as a way of ending on a high note.

It’s not only a dynamic form to watch but it is also very handy for potential hecklers in the audience.

And for some strange reason I have never had a heckler during one of my sabre demonstrations!

Footnote: The Tai Chi sabre blade is not sharp. Just as well as decapitation could be fatal.

The Eyes Have It

By Chris Leave a Comment

Adults can have a powerful effect on the behaviour of children. Every gesture, word or action sends a message to children.

This is something I am very aware of when I run our Pozitive Kidz are happy kidz workshops for primary school children.

Usually it takes me about 45-60 minutes to get to a school, driving in peak hour traffic, in the morning, to run three workshops.

When I arrive at a school I’m taken to the area where the workshops are to be held and I quickly assess the environment and find the best position to deliver a workshop. I set up a table with all my props; spooky, monkey brain, Jacques the Shark, Hammy Hothead, smiley flag, fans and my Tai Chi staff.

Then I calm my mind and prepare myself for the start of the workshops. If my mind is distracted and I am still thinking about the peak hour traffic or other problems then I will not make a good first impression. A frown and/or stiff body is easily picked up by the kids and can create an awkward start to the workshop.

When the children file in, about 80 eyes are fixed on me, the tall bald Tai Chi man dressed in black. I can be an imposing figure for children who are half my size so the next few seconds are vital for me to establish rapport.

As soon as they come in I adopt an open posture, smile, say hello, and motion them towards me to sit down. As they sit down some will ask questions such as ‘are you doing magic?’ ‘what are we doing?’ ‘what’s that?’ I’ll quickly answer questions, engage in banter if there is time, so the whole class can observe an adult who is calm and having fun.

This is important because I know ‘the eyes have it’.

Jacques The Shark

By Chris Leave a Comment

She stood there in the middle of the gym, disengaged, as the other fifty grade 5 and 6 students swirled around her.

I tried to encourage her to join in with this organised chaos but she wasn’t interested. Her 10-year old body and tense brow indicated she wanted to be elsewhere.

I was puzzled. It was the fourth session of my ‘Pozitive Kidz are happy kidz’ program and she was still disengaged.

The theme for these workshops was on building self esteem from a Tai Chi perspective. But in this final session I began to wonder whether they’d made any difference at all for this particular little girl.

At the end of session I got all the students to sit down and it was time for Jacques the Shark, a toy I use to help students learn how to relax when they feel under pressure. It has a snapping jaw and is always a favourite with students.

As I took Jacques out of his silver-starred, blue bag, the little girl still didn’t show any interest.

I asked for two volunteers and, as usual, about fifty hands shot up in the air. I picked one girl and one boy to work with Jacques the Shark.

Well, Jacques did what he was supposed to do – bite. And the whole class erupted in laughter.

I looked over to where the little girl was sitting and saw a very brief smile that, for a few moments, erased all the worry and lit up her face.

And I smiled too.

I felt like I had achieved something.